Trends that should pass away with the pandemic
So, it’s been a while since we did that “unpopular opinions” piece and I thought it’s just the right time to do another. This one is a bit chunkier and a bit more sarcastic, but so are we after all these quarantines and lockdowns…
What the heck is a coffee table book and why do you need it? Seriously? You need people to see that Art, Fashion and Architecture by Louis Vuitton you’ve never read, right? Because… Why? So as a horror fan I should display Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix on my coffee table because it’s big, it looks cool and people should know I have it? Nah, I don’t get it, sorry. That fakery should die together with Covid and if not, they should invent a vaccine against it too. Unless you are actually reading a book, keep it off of your table. Hard pass.
OMG, someone hand me a spoon, so I can gouge my eyes out. No better yet, take that can of expanding foam and spray it in my eyes before you ruin that mirror or “make” that vase. Seriously! and that homemade cardboard/bronze solar system looks just like the one you saw on Etsy. By all means, please hang it on your ceiling! *insert sick green-faced emoji here
Your fireplace is already a focal point of the room. Your TV is… ugly. Yes. It might be functional and you might love it, but it’s ugly. It’s a black square for crying out loud. It’s basically a black hole you’ve decided to ruin your focal point with. Leave your fireplace alone, or put a mirror or a painting above it. Put your fun-box elsewhere.
Masochistic much? No, we’re not judging, you do you boo. If you’re into some light self-torture, that’s your thing. I mean, some people support James Charles, some people read Chandler Morrison, some people listen to NBA Young Boy, and some people put furry carpets in their houses. Yes, yes, some people just voluntarily add some dust-collecting mite habitats in their own homes. Don’t ask me why. I dunno. Don’t be one of those people. Go support Elvis the Alien, read Kealan Patrick Burke, listen to J. Cole, and put a loop pile carpet in your living room. Express your masochistic tendencies elsewhere. *wink, wink
So, you love your dining bench? Okay. Make a three-course meal for your dinner party and a bowl of fruit punch just for fun. Now sit on your bench — IN THE MIDDLE. There. That’s it. You wanna cry huh? Yeah, your dining bench looks cute, but you should chop it up and use it as firewood for that fireplace under your TV.
Aaaand that would be it for this one. I hope you had some fun, I hope you had some laughs and I hope I made you think twice before you decide to mount that TV above your fireplace.
